Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog!  I am excited about this.  While I was blogging on Caring Bridge, there were times that I read something compelling or the Holy Spirit had shown me something and I wanted to share it with everyone, but on Caring Bridge I always felt like the goal of the blog was to inform you of my health and so I always felt like a "patient" and didn't often post of anything that wasn't directly or indirectly health-related.  

Here, I feel at liberty to post health updates but also, and more importantly, to share what God is doing in my life.  I need this outlet.  Over the last year and a half, I have watched my life shrink.  As a stay at home mom who home schools, my circle of influence was already small.  It has been painful to watch that sphere of influence waste away as friends I thought were close walked away, as activities I could no longer do fell away, as ministries that I have loved became impossible for me to participate in.  Could this be one of the reasons I am experiencing this season in my life?  So that God could whittle away the non essentials, force me to prioritize my life?  

So, I am glad that God led me to Caring Bridge, and now here, where I can communicate with those that I care about and who care about me.  There have been days that have gone by where the only communication I have is with my children and my husband.  There have also been days where the only way I could communicate with friends is through blogging because my pain kept me from venturing out to spend time with those I love.  Is this the best way to communicate?  Perhaps not, but it will do for now.  

From a health standpoint and as I mentioned in my last Caring Bridge post, I have several appointments coming up in the next couple of weeks.  I am meeting with a new chiropractor later on today who comes highly recommended.  I also have an appointment later in the week with a Christian therapist.  I was encouraged when I called and talked with the therapist and he prayed with me before ending our call.  He, too, comes highly recommended.  Something I am struggling with right now is whether or not God would have me continue to seek answers from doctors.  Through all of this, David and I have believed that while we continue to pray for healing, we should also understand that God not only heals supernaturally but He often will use the wisdom of a doctor or the benefits of a therapy to provide relief or healing.

I have had my faith shaken recently as fellow Christians have suggested that a lack of faith is what prevents healing.  My knower knows this is not the case but my heart hurt at the thought.  And then, I thought of my four little daughters who pray morning, noon and night that their Mommy might be healed or the little girl who sent me a card in the mail the other day and whose mother told me that her daughter prays for me every night that I might be healed.  These little children have faith, probably more faith than I have.  Do I really believe that the faith these children have, that are greater than that of a mustard seed means nothing?  I know that if healing truly relied on faith then I would have been healed a hundred times over, not just because of the faith of my children, but based on the faith of my husband and I and all of those who have covered us in prayer.  No, I don't think my healing hasn't come because I lack faith.  So, I struggle.  Do I drop all therapies and doctor visits and pray solely for a supernatural healing?  What David & I keep coming back to is this - what if I had a broken leg?  Would I sit at home and rely solely on a supernatural healing from God to mend my broken leg?  I would if I felt the Holy Spirit me prompting me to do so, but more than likely, we would seek medical attention.  And so, in this case of chronic pain, I am continuing to seek medical attention.  Not because I lack faith, but because I believe that I cannot limit God's abilities.  I cannot assume that He will only heal me supernaturally while I sleep (though that would be welcome).  I cannot assume that He won't use a doctor or a therapist to lead me in the direction of healing.  Though I miss the prompting of the Holy Spirit many times, I have also heard His voice enough to know that if I am doing something wrong, He will tell me.  It may take a few tries before I quiet enough to hear, but I will Hear Him. 

I pray this time you've spent reading isn't for naught, that it gives you pause to think and to pray and I look forward to writing again soon.